Carpool Lane

Carpool Lane - Meet Joline for a "CuppaJo" as she juggles two kids in school, homework, extracurricular activities and trying to find some "me" time.

 

 

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Have Cell Phone, Will Travel

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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I promised my soul once she reached 7th grade.

A phone.

Not an iPhone, mind you.

Not even a smart phone.

But a phone, nonetheless.

Why? 

When I was her age, there were pay phones. I remember having a quarter that I would use over and over again to call my mom. At the mall. After getting ice cream. Following the movie.

Call. "Pick me up." Hangup. Get quarter back.

Not unlike my contemporary Aldi quarter . . . Get cart. Shop. Return cart. Get quarter back.

Anyway, that is not the case any longer. She's a bike rider. Her closest friend lives about 6-7 blocks away. Sure, if something were to occur on her ride she could knock on someone's door, or hit up a business on main street. Many homes don't even HAVE land lines any longer, so I prefer she be well stocked. 

So, we phoned up.

Calling. Texting. I think we can load some music. That's it. No web capabilities. Shoot, the girl can't even text a photo. 

She's happy nonetheless. I feel a bit of a relief. However how false. For we all know a phone offers no real protection. 

Do we have rules? Yes. Not as detailed as this iPhone "contract" that one can use as our kids get older and are handed that electronic responsibility. Phones aren't just about making calls any longer: text, texting photos, videos, sharing videos, instagram, facebook, google, youtube . . . the WORLD is now at their fingertips.

I chose not to hand my child THAT world.

But, if she wants to take a book, and go sit 2 blocks up at our local coffee shop, where she is a regular - of vanilla shakes with full whip? So be it.

That trip the library? Go for it.

If she wants to ride to a friends house? Call me when you get there. Not text. Call.

She enjoys walking her dog - now she takes her phone and texts me as to where she is on that walk.

I also think it's cute that she's been texting her Dad while he's a way in Colorado, her cousin, and a few other friends. (She is not allowed to give her number to everyone. I get to be the warden on that rule.)  While I bristle a bit at the "texting generation", I am also finding it cool that she is making plans with friends, and then coming to me to see if the plans can happen. This is new for her. We did that also. Remember? Via a phone attached to the wall . . . we also tied up that line for hours. I recall begging for one in my room . . .

Same difference. 

New tool.

Some say, in our day, "we had actual conversations" and "weren't attached to an electronic device at all times." Yeah, well, I recall being completely non-communicative while I sulked about listening to a self-made mix tape, Madonna or The Cure (yeah, I had range) on my Sony Walkman with the volume up high. Those earphones were attached to my head every chance I could get as I tuned out the world. And lest we think we were better, we also wore parachute pants and elf boots. 

I have a 7th grader.

She tunes out just like I did.

This is a serious right of passage moment.


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 12 and 8, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

 

Pre-Summer List

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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Only a few more days of school until glorious summer begins!

Honestly, I'm just done with school. Actually, I was done right after PSSAs were complete. Been there. Done that. I don't want to sign any more papers or read any more handouts or help finish any more worksheets. My Dining Room is a mess (community classroom) and I want that space back.

But just HOW done am I?

I asked my kid to lie about his homework this morning. No kidding.

This morning, my son and I realized he forgot to finish an assignment due today. There were several options of what he could do to complete the assignment of which he had to choose two methods. We had finished one. We hadn't finished the second option. Totally flaked on it. 

"Here," I offered, "since we at least went over the words, I'll just sign that you did THIS one", pointing to a selection on the sheet.

He stared at me. Incredulous.

"Mom! You can't say I did something that I really didn't do!!!!"

He was right.

Darn it. 

See, I'm just already in summer mode. This week alone, there were a lot of "firsts"for my kids. "Firsts" that I had intended to put off until summer was officially here.

  • My kids FINALLY decided to learn how to ride bikes. (They are 12 and 8). They have never wanted to do so. Until now. They learned in a flash. And now, they are buzzing all over town. I love it. They love it. 
  • Then, we started geocaching after reading a post here on Pittsburgh Mom. How much fun is that? Although we still can't locate one right near our house and it's frustrating the heck out of us!
  • My daughter and I went out for a nice dinner and had THAT talk. Yes. That one. It went great.

That's already a few things checked off our summer list! (And yes, the "talk" was on that list. How cool to have completed that one early . . . right?)

Now, it's time to create the real Summer list. We try to make one every year - and while I'd like to say that we complete everything on it, we don't. But every summer, we try again.

What's on your list? Any "firsts" on the list?

And more importantly, WHERE are the best places to ride bikes in this beautiful city? These novices are ready to explore!


 

Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 12 and 8, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

 

 

 

When Your Children Hold You Accountable

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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Recently I finished the Ultimate Reset - a 21 day whole food, three meals a day, vegetarian cleanse/detox. 
 
This is nothing new.
 
Since 2010 when I started what I thought would be a short-term health/fitness kick, I always seem to be on some sort of new wellness project. For that "kick" turned into a lifestyle, a passion, and a profession.
 
Kick no more.
 
My family has been incredibly supportive of my efforts over the years, but I was afraid this one would prove to be too much for the peace and sanity of household. For three weeks there would be no coffee, no sugar, no white flour, no processed food, no animal protein (except for a tad in week one), and meals would consist of fruits, vegetables, and grains such as brown rice, millet, and quinoa. While I adapted the recipes for the kids - no reason for them to go cold turkey (heh, heh), I did ask them to try everything that I would be making.
 
They agreed.
 
My husband also agreed and stuck to the 21 day meal plan along with me, while my children, very respectfully, would try a recipe and then respond with, "Um, no thank you."
 
In the end, I learned that my body appreciated every bit of the retreat.
 
And that I have the coolest family on the planet.
 
I was tempted during my 21 days.
 
And it was MY CHILDREN that stopped me from falling prey.
 
"Mom, NO PIRATE BOOTY! You are on the Reset! Give that to me RIGHT NOW!"
 
"Mom, NO. No! Stop. Put the goldfish [pepperidge farm] down! NOW!"
 
"I can't believe you have not had coffee since you started the Reset. That's amazing!"
 
"Mom, are you missing buffalo wings?" (Ok, that wasn't helpful. And, yes. Yes, I was.)
 
Even though they would open the fridge to find it stuffed (literally) with a rainbow of nature's color, and still proclaim, "There's nothing to eat", there remained a real sense of encouragement and solidarity from my kids. My husband was just pleased that his bride of 22 years was FINALLY packing lunch for him everyday. All of them, however? They genuinely wanted me to succeed. And to feel better after the long, gray winter.
 
Humbling.
 
I'm always excited when my children succeed.
 
I didn't realize they felt the same for me.
 
And succeed I did. To the tune of 10 lbs and 10 inches off my frame. I have not returned to coffee. Or meat. 
 
I'm going all-out-Bieber when I say, "I will never say never", for I am certain I'll sip a cup of java at some point. And buffalo wings will most certainly be on a future menu. But, the food and drink not nearly as important as learning that my family allows me to be me, and is open to attempting new things . . . and cheers me on even when they don't necessarily want to adopt my latest adventure for themselves.
 
And this is why, as a fitness coach, I tell all my new clients to get the family on board. Brady-style family meeting in the family room that is too small for such a huge family. They may not have to literally DO what you are doing, but their support is a larger part of the journey then one may originally think.
 
Thanks George, Harper, and Zane.
 
I finished all the pirate booty today.

Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 12 and 8, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

 

Considering Homeschooling: Take Two

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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Well, I did it.

Not what I set out to do, but rather a variation on the plan.

My son will be joining the ranks at cyber school next year.

Why? 

For many of the reasons I stated in my last piece.

Mainly, for the ability to self-pace his education.

Whereas I set out to use a traditional home school curriculum offered free of charge from the cyber school, once in the interview I realized that this would not be the best entry into the world of school at home . . . at least not for our household. 

Instead, I chose a method where I would serve as more of the support and resource teacher, rather than the soul educator. I liked the organization of logging on to see what my son would need to complete each day, the flexibility of "bookmarking" assignments if we need to run out, and the ability to supplement with a language in 3rd grade - which our school system does not offer. My son can also take photography - something he has become interested in as of recent. And I, as his "resource teacher" can supplement where I see fit.

I've already connected with friends who do the same method and have an organized "gym" time, there's an art curriculum he can follow, or I can give him art lessons in town, and I'm very much looking forward to getting connected with Family Link for field trips, etc. My son has already helped me reorganize my office.

He's excited.

We're excited.

The challenge for me will be to set up very specific "work" hours for a demanding home business that I run. This was also a factor in our choosing an interactive method of home schooling (albeit not the virtual classroom option) over the "mom is the solo educator" experience. I've been saying for a year now that I need to set better work hours - but I really had no reason to do so since I'm home alone everyday. This will force me to make that adjustment.

As for connections? There will be plenty of opportunities for him to connect with other children. I will be responsible for seeing to that. 

He is now enrolled for the Fall. 

And yet, if August comes along and he decides that he really wants to attend regular traditional school, I honestly have no issue with that. For he is the type of kid that will do well in that environment. I just keep feeling the pangs of wanting to give the self-motivated, self-learner in him, "more". Thus, we are going to explore this new path!

Are you a home schooling family? Traditional? Cyber?

Any tips for me as we move forward?


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 11 and 7, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

 

Considering homeschooling

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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Homeschooling.

It’s not just for conservative Christian families any longer.

That’s a stereotype. One which I used to believe myself. Simply because those were the only people I knew who did so. I’ve learned my lesson.

I now know several families who have chosen to teach their children at home, with a traditional homeschool method, or via cyber school. And for several, their decision to do so is not solely based on religious convictions.

I am a product of public school. As is my family. My husband. His family. My children have been in public school since pre-school. The snapshot memories I have of school are positive ones. For some odd reason I remember most vividly a report I wrote about Monticello in 4th grade, ending my essay with a very dramatic, “And then, it burnt to a crisp!” It would seem that I began my habit for adding literary “jazz hands” to my pieces at a very young age.

While I do harbor some concerns about public school education, I am not researching the homeschooling option out of anger or elitism. When someone asks me “Why”, my answer, albeit perhaps naive or juvenile, is “Because I think my kid needs more.”

More what?

Zane is an independent learner. A reader. Starts and finishes homework without prodding. Enjoys projects. And is VERY inquisitive. The questions he asks me on a Sunday drive to church are philosophical in nature, and, at times, over my head. (Wait? So how could I teach him??? Oh no . . .) Am I saying he’s a genius?

Um, heck no.

But, lately, he has begun communicating boredom. In his gentle, old-soul way, he has shared that at times, it’s hard to complete work with a partner in class because the talking is distracting. I know for a FACT that he is not innocent of being a distraction himself . . . it’s not as if I’m saying my precious snowflake (thanks, Alyssa) can do no wrong. He mentioned this week that he needed to position himself at a table by himself so he could finish his Haiku and Sanguine poems away from other kids who were talking. Again, no dramatic emotions infused into these statements. But they do give me pause. See, he really enjoys learning. And while this may sound horribly judgmental, here it is:

Public school DOES come with sooooooooooo much other stuff. (Ok, life does, too. I hear you. But, this is MY story, yo.)  And as I watch my 8-year-old crave information (he keeps a question notebook) I am concerned that this hunger he has is at risk of flat-lining.

There. I said it. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Amidst social pressures, and hours of homework (worksheet, after worksheet, after worksheet), and the fatigue of an 8-4 day (our bus takes 30 minutes to get to school and 30 minutes home), I foresee a “dulling down” effect – that’s what my “mother gut” is telling me. It makes me want to initiate educational CPR. Yet, there is an alternative. He could be learning MORE information in HALF that time, as well as choose some elective classes in areas of interest – like photography and art, etc. via the homeschool or cyber route.

The majority of learning would happen with me, but my research has shown that there are several options for group connection with other homeschooled children in the area. The beauty of what I do for a living is that I can work virtually anywhere. Literally, virtually: from laptop, smart phone, tablet. So, while I would have to now establish concrete “store hours”, which I’ve been needing to do anyway, I am not tied down by having to run to/from a “brick and mortar” location every day.

As for Harper? We are exploring a performing arts charter school for her (in graphic art) which, while public, operates on block scheduling (better for the way she thinks/organizes) and would give her the opportunity to explore her interests as part of the daily curriculum. If she is not accepted to the school, I’m not sure what we will do . . .

So, is this post about the public school? No.

Is this post about YOU choosing public school? No.

Have I made any disparaging comments about the state of public education? No.

Is it sad that I have to explain myself? Yes.

Do I think my son would excel in a homeschooling model? Yes.

The thought of homeschooling has been lingering with me for years. I never researched it thoroughly because 1) I didn’t think I had the brains to do it, 2) Upon moving to Beaver we had some big time adjusting to do as a family, 3) I started a new business 3 years ago for which I needed the time to build  while the kids were in school, 4) I had this misunderstanding that if one homeschooled, they did so for life – now I realize we can reevaluate from year to year, and 4) I didn’t know where to start.

Reasons why I now think I’m ready?

Because I think my son needs it and would benefit from it.

And if that’s the case? I accept.