Last weekend we went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries for lunch.  It was innocent enough. We were on our way to swimming lessons and needed a quick bite. What I didn't realize is that that meal would be the beginning of some family turmoil.

For those of you that have been to Five Guys, you might remember that they have little index cards and crayons available. Patrons color a little picture and then tack it up on a bulletin board.  

Both of my boys drew pictures. They were both wonderful in their own right. (what I'm really saying is that I have earthly idea what they looked like, I can't remember for the life of me. They were both unremarkable and are fighting for space in my limited 40-year-old memory with dozens of pictures a week colored by my children). 

The trouble began when the boys asked me which one I liked better. Matthew's or Ben's.  Matthew's or Ben's. Choose one. Now. 

I avoided the question at first. Then I tried to dance around it by talking about their individual picture qualities. Then I tried to create categories and talk them into Ben winning the "6-Year-Old age group" and Matthew winning the "7-Year-Old age group".  Then I tried to joke and tell them that "yours!" was my favorite, while shaking my head back and forth like a tennis match between them.

But they just kept demanding that I pick a winner. Choose between my children.

Luckily I was able to change the topic that day and we were off to swimming lessons. But it's come up several times since then. Just when I thought they'd forgotten about it, just last night Ben reminded me when we went to "that restaurant where they did art" (took me a while to figure that one out), who REALLY was my favorite. Who wins?

I'm not sure how I should approach this? They've asked me to pick a favorite several other times since with everything from artwork to the best dance move, etc.  Next they'll ask me who I love more.

 Do I just flat out pick a winner?  Or do I spare their feelings and stick with the "I could never choose between you" approach?  

When is the last time you sat still. Like really still? For more than a few seconds?  Yea, I don't remember either.

Last year I had to for an MRI.  They kept apologizing for how long it was taking and how still I had to lie. It was the best 45 minutes of my day ;)

Just laying perfectly still with absolutely no chance of doing anything with no guilt attached was a luxury. I couldn't clean, I couldn't work, I couldn't cook. I just had to lay there. Perfectly still.  It was heaven.

I'm not very good at sitting still generally speaking. I like the idea of resting, but three's always something more to be done. And so even if I sit still I feel guilty about it, so I can't really enjoy it.  I'm always on the go and I'm so used it my body has really adjusted. Here's a perfect example:  I teach a high school journalism camp every summer. During the 6-day camp I'm generally at work between 60-80 hours. Prior to having kids that week wiped me OUT. I often got sick at the end of the because my body was just so run down.  Then I had kids. And I went to work for 60 hours and actually felt fine.  I was so used to being in constant motion that nothing phased me. I can pull an all nighter (i.e. Black Friday) and not even really feel the effects. It's amazing how much a body can adjust to. 

This summer we're going to be spending a lot of time in the car during our family vacation. Then when we return my husband and I are flying to Europe  We'll spend more than a dozen hours on airplanes each way.  I used to think that sounded like torture, but now it sounds rather lovely. Fourteen hours of just sitting still.  I don't know what I'll do with myself, but I bet I'll return well rested.

Do you like downtime? Do you make time to just sit still?

We are taking a road trip this summer. A really long road trip.  My husband is lucky enough to get a six-week sabbatical every four years with his company.  This will be the first sabbatical he's had (his company was acquired by a larger corporation four years ago) and we're planning to use a lot of the time to take a trip with the kids. As a college professor I'm also off in the summer, so it's an ideal opportunity for us to travel.

Mike's brother lives in southern Texas, and we have been wanting to go visit him for years.  He lives on a horse farm and we'd like the kids to see what that kind of life is like.  They're so very excited.  

Because of his time off we decided to drive instead of fly and to really take our time and "see the country".  The boys helped me plot our course last night on our US Map.  I think that is starting to hep them understand where we are going and how long it will take.

What we're planning is a 2-3 road trip through 13-14 states.  We have about 15 stops earmarked in cities we've never visited before (Nashville, Atlanta, Memphis, etc).  We have no hotel reservations, we're just going to take our time and book hotels as we go (here's hoping that's not a disaster).  We figure we'll just hop on the iPad when we get tired and book something along the way each night.

In addition to mapping and researching the route we're trying to think of things to do in the car to keep us busy. It looks like that route will mean spending about 30-35 hours in the car in total, which is an awful lot for young, active boys.

We are planning on listening to Audible books together, reading some, watching some new movies, and keeping a journal of where we've been.  Any other ideas for long car rides?

While it seems a little overwhelming, we are all so incredibly excited about the trip.  I really think it'll be such fun to explore together and will make for a lifetime of lasting memories.

A firestorm erupted this over the controversial decision by Yahoo CEO Melissa Mayer to require everyone at Yahoo to work daily in the office and not at home.

 It's easy to look at the bullet point of any story and form an opinion (revokes telecommuting while building nursery next to her own office). But obviously there is likely so much more to the story than her taking away the right to telecommute. As I understand Yahoo has a lot of "fat" to trim and this is just her way of attacking that problem. 

I do want to weigh in on the issue of telecommunting, though. As a both a mother and a manager, I have mixed opinions on working from home.

First, many people say they are more productive when they work from home. While I don't discount that, I know that I personally am not as effective. I enjoy it and take advantage of it quite often, but if I'm being perfectly honest with myself, I'm not working as hard when I'm at home.  

I do, however, enjoy the ability to not sit in traffic for an hour, pay to park, etc. And if you take away the 1.5-2 hours of commuting I do each day I may end up getting as much work done at home as I do at work.

But, I also do laundry.And talk to the plumber for an estimate. And clean the kitchen. And do my taxes. And get the kids off the bus early.  And once my kids are home I probably get half as much work done as I would if I were  at work.  Even though they're old enough to recognize I'm working and respect that, there are still conversations about their day, getting a glass of milk, feeling the guilt to take a Lego break sharing my time.

And that's exactly why I like the flexibility of working from home. As an employee.

But am I really working to the same level that I do when I'm at the office? Am I really contributing as much to the team when I'm working home alone, in a vacuum?  No.

I do fully believe there are people who are extremely productive working from home, possibly even more productive than when they are bothered by distractions in the office.   And I feel like there is a loss when we take away the easy collaboration that comes from seeing people face-to-face everyday. I have the same feelings about online learning. I believe that students can learn class online but I think there's such a benefit to being in a classroom with other students. 

So as a manager, I understand people's desire to work from home, and I don't mind when they do. I trust all of my employees and know that they're getting their work done. But frankly I miss them or not in the office together having time to talk and collaborate.   But if there were people that did it every single day and most of my team worked remotely I think a great deal of work would be lost. So many of our great conversations, collaborations, inspiration comes from those chats in the hallway on Monday mornings.  An email exchange is just not as easy or as effective as sitting down face to face to hammer out things.

So if my employees all asked to work from home every day I'd say no too.

I do think there needs to be flexibility. I agree that people should have the ability to work from home a day or two a week. (or even more, but having a dedicated day or two when everyone is in the office would be ideal).

I do think there can be a compromise at Yahoo, as most other companies. Find the happy balance between a work in the office and work at home schedule. Or if she feels that people really need to be on-site every dya then at least provide free, wonderful daycare on site.  While I see her point, I think it's overkill and is going to upset a lot of people who will probably leave for jobs that will allow them to work from home (and maybe that's exactly her plan)