I'm insecure. Are you?
With pretty much everything else in my life, I have an I-don’t-care-what-X-thinks attitude, and I go with it in a nice way, but when it comes to raising my kid, I care.
Because I don’t know what I’m doing! Because if I screw this up, a person goes down! Not a project, a job, a plan – A PERSON.
I know I’m not alone. Why do I feel that way?
I wish there was someone who was #1 Mom -- someone who I could ask all my questions to and know that her answer IS the answer. I know there isn't (because a lot of people have those mugs and shirts), so I do the best for my family and hope to God we all come out OK on the other side. Sometimes I ask for help, sometimes I go with my gut.
I’m doing the best I can. I told myself two years, eight months, and three days ago that’s all I could do.
What I worry about, choose, deny, and believe is what I think is best for my son. Please, give me a break. Give us all a break. Life is hard enough.
I’d like to believe you do the same. I’d like to believe you’re not put down for the choices you think are right for your family. I’d like to think the people of this world, especially the mothers, wouldn't do that (but, unfortunately, I've seen it happen). We do look for advice and help at times, but now, for me at least, I'm scared to. That shouldn't be. We should be helping each other by offering solutions and constructive criticism and encouraging and supporting one another.
If you are being put down or attacked for what you do for your family’s good, drop those offenders and contact me. I wouldn't do that to you. We’re doing the best we can.
If you’re judging the mothers (whose kids are happy) why? If it’s because you’re #1 Mom, contact me! I have a bunch of questions!!
In this post I did not mean to:
- ask you not to comment
- appear uptight
- impose stress onto my son
- appear overly stressed
- misspell or use improper grammar, though I may have
- imply anything about you
- appear as if I hate being a mom or hate my family
- try to make you change anything about raising your family
- ask you to be anything other than compassionate and nice]
Erin Hill is a first-time mom to Lincoln, who was born in January 2010. She's learning as she goes and is experiencing everything a new mom goes through while seeing the humor, irony, and enjoyment in her adventures.
Erin is a full-time technical writer and features freelance writer in her "spare time." She lives in Plum with Lincoln, her husband, Adam, their dog, Roxie, and five (yes, five) cats, Nirvana, Gary Roberts, Elvis, Talbot and Forrest.