Sometimes I feel it’s implied that if you are a working parent and/or want nice things (that cost money), you somehow love your children less than “things,” and you’re a bad parent. I’ve wrestled with this for years, and I don’t know why. I know I’m not a bad parent. Why are others trying to make me feel that way?
I’m not the type to care what people think about me, but if I hear something like “time with your children is more important than <insert something that costs money here>,” it irks me. My children and husband ARE the most important things to me, but we need stuff. We like stuff. The “things” we buy benefit our family and home, and that’s why they are important.
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. To insinuate that that puts my kids lower on my priority list is insane and just stupid. And, yes, in order to get stuff, both my husband and I work outside of the home and our children go to daycare.
My husband and I work at jobs we love doing what we love, and my kids go to a place they’re taken care of and safe and loved by a bunch of nice people. THE HORROR!
Am I selfish because of this? If you answer yes, then I’m the most selfish person on the planet and my smiling, happy kids are really suffering inside. I’m so blind to it.
There are things my husband and I want our family to have. I’m tired of being ashamed of it. We’ve done our research. We’ve talked the talks. We’ve explored and defined what we want our life to be. Right now, life is good for everyone in our family.
Take this post however you want. Some may read the words of a selfish, money hungry you-know-what, some may think I’m just not doing all I can to be their definition of a good mom, and some (you know who you are) might think they wrote this post themselves.
In the end, I’m done with trying to avoid shame or guilt. I’ve put it all on myself, really. I’m actually quite comfortable with what I’ve got going on today. Tomorrow it may change, but rest assured it’ll change because my family needed it to.
I’ve said it before (and I’m saying it again), whether you work 100 hours a week outside the home and raise a family or 24/7 as a stay-at-home parent, if you are comfortable and happy with how your family is jiving, you go girl (or boy). If your kids are smiling, they’re playing, they’re being kids, and you’re enjoying them, you’ve succeeded. You’re a winner!
Do you do something that makes your family happy that others try to shame you for?