Carpool Lane

Carpool Lane - Meet Joline for a "CuppaJo" as she juggles two kids in school, homework, extracurricular activities and trying to find some "me" time.

 

 

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What the Crocodile Hunter Taught Me About Talking To My Children About Sandy Hook (2)

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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We chose not to tell her.

It was a conscious, well thought out decision.

There was no way we were going to tell our Kindergartner that Steve Irwin, aka, The Crocodile Hunter had been killed. In our minds, she would never have to know, because he would live on in reruns, dvds, and movies. My child, a HUGE fan of Steve, could simply coast on as normal, thinking he was still just as alive as he appeared on the television.

In our wisdom, we didn't figure in other parents.

Who HAD told their children.

Our daughter came home in TEARS. "Why didn't you tell me???!!!!"

I was crushed. 

"The kids on the playground were all acting it out. How he got stuck in the heart and died. I thought they were joking. Why didn't you tell me?!"

I realized then, that parenting is just plain hard. And subjects that are difficult to broach, like death, are not fun. We all want to soften the blow. Not make things sound bleak. Find an easy way to share dark moments.

Only, in my attempt to avoid telling her the truth, I learned a lesson.

As hard as the conversation might be, it is MY responsibility as the PARENT to address matters such as these - rather than for my child to hear it from other children. I can avoid the conversation in an attempt to spare them pain and sadness, but I can never be assured that other parents aren't sharing information with THEIR children. And, children talk.

So, I choose to play offense, rather than defense. And no, I don't do it perfectly. I stumble. I stammer. I stutter. I don't have a perfect "script" to use. I am armed only with the love I have for my children, the facts on the situation, human emotion, and God's grace to give me words.

And that is why I sat both my kids down after school on that fateful Friday, and with tears in my eyes, told them the truth about Sandy Hook. As a Christian, I shared that we do not fear death. We prayed for the families involved - including those of the shooter. When they asked, "Why?" as children do, I simply said, "Because there is evil in the world." I didn't try to offer an explanation, because, frankly, I don't think one is necessary. I told them that the situation could have been far worse - but that brave teachers, students, and police officers saved the remainder of the students. I told them that I would be in tears for a few days because I am a Mommy - and that I feel a profound sadness for the parents and families who lost their treasures.

Then, they went back to watching TV.

I had done it. And even though it sucked, I had been the one to break the horrific news to them, saving them from any surprise conversations that might arise on Monday. To me, that's "front-line" parenting.

And that's my job.


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 11 and 7, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

Oh, Christmas Tree . . .

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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Oh, Christmas Tree . . .

How tasty are your branches . . .

My dogs are destroying our beautiful $35 freshly cut tree. 

And then, puking up the evidence.

After a lovely day of picking out a tree, chopping it down ourselves and getting it home, we realized that we'd need to do minimal trimming this year since we were fearful our dogs would attack the ornaments. We had no idea.

First to be targeted were small stuffed snowmen that we thought we'd hung high enough. We didn't think that the puppies would simply climb on the back of the couch and sneak up on them. One by one they started disappearing. Some losing noses. Others, arms. It wasn't quite "The Walking Dead", but we had stuffed carnage.

Zane removed the remaining snowmen and rushed a few to the snowman "hospital" to get their arms taped back on. We designated the injured to our stuffed snowmen display on top of an armoire. Safe from canines.

My husband then rearranged our tree so that it still held a few ornaments

Only now, it looks ridiculous. And lopsided. Boring. Naked. It's a tree - that's for sure, but it's not a Christmas Tree like WE are used to having. It's blah.

The kids adore the dogs, so they aren't fretting about not having their favorite ornaments on the tree.

Or wrapped presents under it. No way I'm sticking the pile of stuff still in boxes underneath that deathtrap. All gifts have been relegated to a corner in my dining room. So festive.

Sigh.

Which, leads me to traditions . . . this year, one our ours was sunk. Due to our darling pups.

Usually we trim the tree heartily, turn off all the lights but the tree, and then run outside to look at it from the window. 

This year, after the snowman rescue effort, we trimmed our tree simply, with lights, a few red balls, a smattering of snowflakes (all at the top half), and Lucy, Charlie Brown, and Linus. End scene.

Sometimes we have to give up traditions - and for some people, that can be hard. I'm not digging the tree this year. We'll try again next year when the pups are older.

Does your family have any traditions that you've had to rearrange or drop completely? Is that hard for your family?


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 11 and 7, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

Oh, Christmas Tree . . . (2)

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

User Rating:  / 0

Oh, Christmas Tree . . .

How tasty are your branches . . .

My dogs are destroying our beautiful $35 freshly cut tree. 

And then, puking up the evidence.

After a lovely day of picking out a tree, chopping it down ourselves and getting it home, we realized that we'd need to do minimal trimming this year since we were fearful our dogs would attack the ornaments. We had no idea.

First to be targeted were small stuffed snowmen that we thought we'd hung high enough. We didn't think that the puppies would simply climb on the back of the couch and sneak up on them. One by one they started disappearing. Some losing noses. Others, arms. It wasn't quite "The Walking Dead", but we had stuffed carnage.

Zane removed the remaining snowmen and rushed a few to the snowman "hospital" to get their arms taped back on. We designated the injured to our stuffed snowmen display on top of an armoire. Safe from canines.

My husband then rearranged our tree so that it still held a few ornaments

Only now, it looks ridiculous. And lopsided. Boring. Naked. It's a tree - that's for sure, but it's not a Christmas Tree like WE are used to having. It's blah.

The kids adore the dogs, so they aren't fretting about not having their favorite ornaments on the tree.

Or wrapped presents under it. No way I'm sticking the pile of stuff still in boxes underneath that deathtrap. All gifts have been relegated to a corner in my dining room. So festive.

Sigh.

Which, leads me to traditions . . . this year, one our ours was sunk. Due to our darling pups.

Usually we trim the tree heartily, turn off all the lights but the tree, and then run outside to look at it from the window. 

This year, after the snowman rescue effort, we trimmed our tree simply, with lights, a few red balls, a smattering of snowflakes (all at the top half), and Lucy, Charlie Brown, and Linus. End scene.

Sometimes we have to give up traditions - and for some people, that can be hard. I'm not digging the tree this year. We'll try again next year when the pups are older.

Does your family have any traditions that you've had to rearrange or drop completely? Is that hard for your family?


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 11 and 7, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

A New Christmas List

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

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We seem to have surpassed THAT age.

The age of toys.

I am elated.

My kids, 11 and 7, still play with Playmobile, of which they have a ton. They still play with swords. And legos - somewhat. We have ample board games. But gone are the days of transformers, and electronic toys, and wandering the aisles at Toys R Us. We've gone through the Thomas stage, the Tonka stage, the Bakugon stage.  In truth, I left Toys R Us for our local toy store a few years ago, only, there is nothing on their lists this year that even has me entering those once hallowed halls.

My daughter asked for Wii games. Our Will died suddenly over a year ago, at which time we donated our games to a local community center. But,  we've agreed to a new Wii for the long winter months and slumber parties - Just Dance is a NECESSITY for 11-12 year old girls. And, surprisingly, 7-8 year old boys. She's also asked for archery lessons, some iTunes mula, a few ski caps (she adores them), and a bike. As for Zane? Here's his letter to Santa written in school as an exercise in learning how to write letters:

Dear Santa Clause,

How is Dasher? I'm doing good. So anyway, I would really want an iPod case and a stuffed lion. I would also like Mario Party 8. Thank you. Love, Zane.

I have purchased a family night of bowling, snow tubing, and laser tag outings for the all of us. I have posted the grandparents on the Wii-front. They are united and strong. Harper's ski-cap is tucked away. I have stashed some art stuff for Zane under the bed. I am currently looking into family archery lessons, and am already rewarding Harper with iTunes $$$ for "work well done", 'cause 6th grade is kicking her patootie. Yes, Zane needs another lion (I mean he only has 16 . . . ) and his iPod case I am able to get for free at Radio Shack. As for a bike. Yep - we'll hold that back for a birthday.

So, I think that means . . . um . . . I'm done.

That's crazy.

And freeing.

And a relief.

I feel like we've graduated from something - to something else.

How old are your kids? What's on their list this year?

 


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 11 and 7, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask. 

A New Christmas List (2)

Written by Joline Atkins. Posted in Carpool Lane

User Rating:  / 0


We seem to have surpassed THAT age.

The age of toys.

I am elated.

My kids, 11 and 7, still play with Playmobile, of which they have a ton. They still play with swords. And legos - somewhat. We have ample board games. But gone are the days of transformers, and electronic toys, and wandering the aisles at Toys R Us. We've gone through the Thomas stage, the Tonka stage, the Bakugon stage.  In truth, I left Toys R Us for our local toy store a few years ago, only, there is nothing on their lists this year that even has me entering those once hallowed halls.

My daughter asked for Wii games. Our Will died suddenly over a year ago, at which time we donated our games to a local community center. But,  we've agreed to a new Wii for the long winter months and slumber parties - Just Dance is a NECESSITY for 11-12 year old girls. And, surprisingly, 7-8 year old boys. She's also asked for archery lessons, some iTunes mula, a few ski caps (she adores them), and a bike. As for Zane? Here's his letter to Santa written in school as an exercise in learning how to write letters:

Dear Santa Clause,

How is Dasher? I'm doing good. So anyway, I would really want an iPod case and a stuffed lion. I would also like Mario Party 8. Thank you. Love, Zane.

I have purchased a family night of bowling, snow tubing, and laser tag outings for the all of us. I have posted the grandparents on the Wii-front. They are united and strong. Harper's ski-cap is tucked away. I have stashed some art stuff for Zane under the bed. I am currently looking into family archery lessons, and am already rewarding Harper with iTunes $$$ for "work well done", 'cause 6th grade is kicking her patootie. Yes, Zane needs another lion (I mean he only has 16 . . . ) and his iPod case I am able to get for free at Radio Shack. As for a bike. Yep - we'll hold that back for a birthday.

So, I think that means . . . um . . . I'm done.

That's crazy.

And freeing.

And a relief.

I feel like we've graduated from something - to something else.

How old are your kids? What's on their list this year?

 


Joline Pinto Atkins is an actress who also uses the web as her world-wide stage and can also be found writing at The Cuppa Jo, and is the founder and a contributor at Daily Fast Fuel and the newly debuted SlimSavers.com. Joline is wife to one (phew - that's good to know) and mother of two amazing children, aged 11 and 7, who are both named after authors. Addicted to fitness, she is an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and sweats out any daily angst by exercising and P90X'ing, and longs for good books, vats of coffee, and an endless supply of buffalo wings - which she will not share with you. So, please, do not ask.